Monday, June 9, 2014

Do you Suspect a Cheating Spouse, Partner, Fiance or Significant Other?


Surveillance & Information Specialists




How do you know? What are the signs?  Whether it is a spouse, partner, fiancĂ©, or significant other, there are numerous indicators of infidelity in a relationship.  Studies have shown that if you suspect cheating, even if it’s just a “gut feeling”, unfortunately you’re probably right.  If you have concerns, you should consider contacting a licensed private investigator who can answer all your questions and provide you with the peace of mind you deserve.


Don’t get caught up in the standard belief that it is mostly the men who cheat.  Recent studies have shown that it is basically equal with each gender cheating approximately 50% of the time.  The issue seems to be that women are simply better at hiding it, making them better cheaters than men.  Why are women so much more likely to cheat now than they were 10-20 years ago?  Well, women are now a main factor in the workforce which keeps them out of the house just like men.   The stay at home mom is becoming increasingly rare.  With being in the work force, women are spending much more time with other men and women, taking breaks, talking about personal issues, going on business trips and spending much more time out of the home.


Women are often much more secretive and careful than men but if you look for certain signs, you may very well find them.  Because men are easier to catch cheating than women, there are a few specific signs to look for that a woman might display which could indicate infidelity.  For example: 


  She rarely, or no longer says “I love you”.

  She might “forget” to wear her wedding band when she goes out with friends.

  She might be a little too nice or do things for you she never did before (out of guilt?).

  She might not want to talk about the future, retirement, vacations, etc. anymore.
  She doesn’t want to do things together anymore and prefers to go out with her friends.

  She may change how she behaves during intimacy, want to try new positions or acts that she never did before.

 She might say “Oh, we’re just friends” regarding a new friend she is spending a lot of time with.

  She might say something like “I just need some time to sort out my feelings”.


Of course, these same signs can be indicative of a cheating man as well.  Although not an exhaustive list, the following are more general indicators that are displayed by both cheating men and women:


  A cheater often develops a sudden need for privacy.

  A cheater might evasive or nervous when on the computer and change the screen when you approach or stay online long after you’ve gone to bed.

  A cheater will sometimes change their work schedule - late meetings, starting earlier.

  A cheater my begin taking suspicious business trips they never did before.

  A cheater may get mysterious phone calls and leave the room to talk.
  A cheater may purchase a second cell phone.

  A cheater may suddenly take great interest in their looks, join a gym or lose weight.

  A cheater start different grooming habits, color their hair and buy new clothes.

  A cheater may delete all texts and call records from their cell phone.

Sometimes, it might be behavior that just doesn’t add up like not being where they were expected to be or missing time that they can't explain.  There may be money that is not accounted for, receipts for things you don't have, missing clothing or clothing that does not belong to your family.  Being caught in little lies about the details of the day really add up fast.

If you find yourself looking for excuses for their behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat on you then that is a huge warning sign. No one knows them better than you and your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong.  If you suspect infidelity you are usually right a very high percentage of the time.  Ask for honesty.  Be prepared for lies.  It is a sad fact that people having affairs become excellent liars, even people who never told a lie before in their lives.  Trust your gut instinct…but be sure to get cold, hard proof.


What should you do if you think your “happily ever after” has been broken and you are tired of the not knowing, the unexplained absences, the sleepless nights and tremendous anxiety?  You should consider contacting a licensed private investigator with experience in infidelity surveillance investigations.  In as little as a few days, a skilled private investigator can provide you with information on their movements that will determine exactly where, and with who, they have been spending their time. 


Contacting an experienced investigator will provide you the service that may be painful and heartbreaking, or prove that your spouse, partner, fiancĂ©, or significant other remains faithful and trustworthy.  Either way, you will have the answers and peace of mind you deserve so you can move forward with your life.

An Elite Florida Investigative Agency

Surveillance & Information Specialists

Mark J. Aubin, J.D.

P.O. Box 10522, Tampa, FL 33679

813-902-0420 (Phone)    813- 902-0216 (Fax)

Fla. Lic. #A2900089

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Dangers of Online Dating Scams

On-Line Dating Scams: "Sweetheart Scams" and "Romance Scams"

Did you ever think you might need a private investigator to provide the research and information needed to protect yourself or your loved ones?  You certainly might now.

Dating websites are becoming very popular and are providing fertile ground for predators.  Recently,  a woman who joined Christian Mingle thought she might find Mr. Right.  But $300,000 dollars later it was discovered he was a criminal from Nigeria who was only pretending to be her soul mate. 

It began innocently enough with a great deal of innocent communication including flowers and multiple texts over time.  He represented that he was from the United Kingdom and worked on an oil rig.  Then he asked for some money for his oil business...and she agreed.

In total, she substantially depleted her retirement account and sent him a total of $500,000.  The initial check was for $300,000, and fortunately, someone stepped in when they discovered she sent an additional $200,000 and contacted the authorities who discovered the scam.  Although the second check for $200,000 was recovered, the initial $300,000 is likely long gone.

This is far from an isolated incident.  In 2013, a man in Utah was sent to prison for a similar scam where he stole a total of $300,000 from two separate women.  The list of these creative criminal scams is growing daily.

So, how can you protect yourself from these criminals?  If you follow these four basic safety rules, and most importantly, verify the background of the person you are communicating with, you should be safe.

1.  EXPECT SOME DISHONESTY:  Online dating is really just a form of advertising.  Like advertising, let the buyer beware.  There is always some degree of exaggeration involved, and sometimes complete falsehoods. Participants will try to present what they perceive to be the best picture that they can to make them appear more desirable.  Typically, this results at a minimum, misrepresenting their age, weight and employment.  The authorities will not get involved.  However, a licensed private investigator can find out if what is represented on the dating website is accurate.

2.  BEWARE OF FRAUD:  There are numerous international criminal groups that join online dating sites posing as individuals.  The sole purpose of course is to get money from trusting, unsuspecting people.  There is NEVER a reason for anyone you have never met and know nothing about to ask you for money.  If someone does, immediately stop all communication and do not send any money. 

3.  DO NOT AGREE TO MEET:  Never bring a person into you home when all you know about them is what they have posted online.  A safe course of action would be to contact a licensed private investigator to research the person and verify they are who they say they are on the website.

4.  IF YOU DO AGREE TO MEET:  If you have enough information where you are comfortable enough to meet the person, make sure the first few meetings are in  an open, public place.  Make sure that your friends and family know where you are going to be, who you are going to be with, and when you expect to be home.  Always keep your cell phone handy and if at any time anything makes you feel even a the slightest bit uncomfortable...leave.

These safety tips are really nothing more than common sense.  Unfortunately, the most vulnerable demographic appears to be middle age and older individuals as that generation is simply more trusting.  Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about this topic or wish to discuss private investigation services in greater detail.

An Elite Florida Investigative Agency
    Surveillance & Information Specialists

Mark J. Aubin, J.D.
P.O. Box 10522, Tampa, FL 33679
Fla. Lic. #A2900089 #C2800064 #G1302399